Is your child ready for school?

Remember your first day of school? That mix of excitement, fear, and confusion? As parents, we often worry about preparing our children for this milestone, focusing heavily on academic skills. But what if I told you that recognising letters and writing their name might be the least important aspects of school readiness?

Through my professional experience and personal journey with my twins, I've discovered that true school readiness revolves around social and emotional development. When I speak with new entrant teachers, they consistently emphasise the importance of self-help skills, emotional regulation, and social capabilities over academic knowledge. Can your child manage the bathroom independently? Do they know how to ask for help when their banana goes mushy in their lunchbox? Can they wait their turn or try again when something's challenging? These practical skills form the foundation for successful school experiences.

In this episode, I share why I chose to send my twins to school at six rather than five, despite outside appearances suggesting they were "ready." I explore why play remains the most powerful vehicle for developing school readiness skills and provide practical strategies for supporting your child's development at home. You'll learn about the five key areas to focus on: self-help skills, social capabilities, emotional regulation, independence, and confidence-building. Remember, school readiness isn't a checklist to complete—it's about nurturing your whole child and recognizing that you have both the time and tools to support their journey. When we focus on emotional groundwork rather than academic pressure, our children truly thrive.

Welcome to the Kebudel Parent Podcast—your no-nonsense, fun-filled guide to parenting, straight from the experts who really get kids (and parents too!). 

Brought to you by experienced early childhood educators, we’re here to dish out practical advice, laugh at the messiness of parenting, and share our insider knowledge to help you thrive. From decoding tantrums to sparking your child’s love of learning, we cover it all with a healthy dose of humor and zero judgment.

Why listen? Because parenting doesn’t come with a manual, but it can come with expert-backed insights, a little sass, and a whole lot of support. Let’s navigate this wild ride together—one episode at a time. 

Transcript

Reframing school readiness

Speaker 0 0:00

Kia ora . I'm Alex from the First Five Years and you're listening to the Caboodle Podcast . Today we're tackling a question that's often on parents' minds what's the deal with school readiness ? What does it actually mean , and how can we support our children to be truly ready , not just for the classroom but for the whole experience of school ? Can you remember your first day of school ? Oh , my goodness , I can remember my first day clear as day , because I managed to embarrass my older brothers during assembly by yelling out answers and talking directly to the school principal as though she was only talking to me . And then , straight after lunch , I burst into tears because I had no idea how I was supposed to get home my first teacher , and she was so grumpy . I still remember confidently arguing with her that the letter B , p , q and D were all in fact the same letter and that she didn't know her ABCs . I bet I was quite challenging to be in the classroom with actually .

Speaker 0 1:02

So , as we talk about school readiness , I want to start by challenging the very idea that being ready for school means being able to recognize letters , write your name or sit for long periods . Because here's the truth school readiness has far less to do with academics and far more to do with social and emotional development . It's about your child being able to express needs , manage their big feelings , take turns , handle transitions and feel safe enough to be themselves in a group environment . Children learn best when they feel safe , seen and supported , and these school skills that we hope our children to have by the time they start school . Well , they come more easily when the emotional groundwork has been laid . That's why , as a professional and a parent , I want to reframe what we value . I don't believe we need to pressure young children to perform with knowing their ABCs and 123s before they've even started school . Instead , I think we need to step back and we need to focus on building resilience , confidence , curiosity and the ability to be in relationship with others so that , when the time is right , they can learn to read and write . So when we talk about school readiness , we often focus on academic skills like reading , writing their names , recognising numbers , and sure those things might help a child feel ready . But most new entrant teachers that I talk to they really hope for children when they start school is to have self-help skills . Can they take themselves to the toilet ? Can they put their own things in their bag ? Do they have some emotional regulation skills ? Do they have the ability to work with others ? Are they curious ? Do they have a willingness to try and having basic independent skills like putting on their shoes , finding their bag , recognizing their name ? These are the skills that new entrance teachers really want tamariki to have before they start school .

Speaker 0 2:48

It's not about your child knowing how to recite the alphabet , although I mean that's very useful . What we really want to focus on is you know , does your child have the ability to ask for help when their banana's gone mushy in their lunchbox , or how to wait their turn , or how to try again when something's tricky ? And how we prepare our children with these wonderful skills is

What teachers really want

Speaker 0 3:07

that we prepare them in early childhood and we prepare them to have these skills , to acquire these skills . And we do that through play , because we use play as our vehicle for learning with young people . And through play our children learn how to solve problems , navigate social challenges , try out new ideas , express their emotions . They learn to take turns , share , negotiate all the things that they will use daily at school . Play is powerful and it's how children make sense of the world .

Speaker 0 3:32

An interesting fact to note is that in New Zealand school . Your child isn't legally required to be enrolled in school until their sixth birthday , and that surprises a lot of people , and I used to honestly think it was strange not to start your children at five to start school , and when I heard that you could start your children at six , I thought that was really strange . Why would you want to do that ? Until I had my own children ? That's when I completely reconsidered why somebody would wait . So I decided to send my twins to school at six years of age , and people often asked me why I didn't send my boys to school at five . So from the outside my boys they seemed ready . They were socially and emotionally they were there . But I could see some things that others couldn't . I could still see that they were my boom , boom sandpit boys . Their bodies were still so busy and their ability to sit and focus was still emerging , and so we

Starting school at six

Speaker 0 4:24

decided to wait and by five and a half there was a big shift for them . They had matured , they were more curious about reading and writing and they could sit and concentrate for longer , and when we sent them to school at six I could see that they were very ready for that more formal learning that was going to happen at school and honestly , I've never regretted starting them at school at six .

Speaker 0 4:45

It's also worth mentioning that here in New Zealand , schools are increasingly adopting a structured literacy approach . So if your child has been taught to read before they start school in a different way , it can sometimes create confusion . So please don't feel pressured to start teaching reading at home . Let your child play , let them listen to the stories , build their vocabulary through conversations , nature walks , baking , messy play these are the rich experiences that feed literacy and school readiness . So what can you do at home to really support your child's school readiness ? Well , one support their ability with their self-help skills . Practice alongside them opening their lunch boxes , practicing putting on their shoes , packing and unpacking their bags . It is a great idea to help them get familiar with their name so that when they see their name on books , bags and things around the school , they understand that that belongs to them .

Speaker 0 5:40

Number two social skills . Support your child in playing with others so that they learn how to manage that frustration and navigate friendships . This happens naturally in early childhood settings , but can also be done at play groups , at music groups , at interaction with other young little people . Number three emotional regulation . Help your child name and understand their feelings . All this can be a tricky one for a lot of parents , but it's really helpful to label their feelings and say oh gosh , you look really frustrated as you're trying to zip up your jacket . Putting labels on feelings helps children to feel seen and helps them to normalize their experience and also

Supporting school readiness at home

Speaker 0 6:20

work through what they're navigating . So help your child by naming them , validating their feelings and then offering them opportunities to and strategies to work through those feelings .

Speaker 0 6:30

Number four independence . Let your child take small risks , make small decisions and try new things . Children love to have autonomy in their world , and they're growing in independence every day , and so when we can give them small opportunities to work out how they want to be in the world , this will not only help them become more independent , but also they will grow in confidence in their ability . And so this comes to number five confidence . Celebrate their effort over outcome . School is a big step , and so they need to feel seen and supported .

Speaker 0 7:03

And finally , stay connected with your early childhood teachers . They know your child and the learning context really well , and they can help you identify strengths and areas to support before the transition . So maybe it is you have a chat with your early childhood teacher and say , hey , how can we help my child's self-help skills ? What could I be doing at home ? I can guarantee that your early childhood teacher will have some great insight there , so I really suggest leaning into that .

Speaker 0 7:26

As I wrap up this podcast today , I just want to say school readiness is more than a checklist . It's actually a process and it's about nurturing the whole child . When we lean into where our child is currently at , that's where we will see our children thrive and is currently at , that's where we will see our children thrive . And remember , if your child isn't quite there yet and you feel like they need more support with maybe developing their self-help skills or their independence , lean into that , use that as information and know that you've got time and the tools are available to support you with this . So thanks for joining me today and if this episode has sparked something for you , feel free to share it with a friend , tag me on socials or send me a message .