From Babble to Brilliant - How Parents Shape Language Development

Ever wonder why children typically say "Dad" before "Mum"? It's not favouritism—the 'D' sound is simply easier to master! This fascinating tidbit is just one of many insights shared as we explore the remarkable journey of communication and language development in children's first five years.

The COVID years created unprecedented challenges for our youngest learners, with many children now entering school with diminished communication abilities. But there's good news: supporting your child's language development doesn't require expensive apps or flashcards. The most powerful tool is already in your possession—your voice and presence during everyday moments.

We unpack how language development follows common patterns while honouring each child's unique timeline. From those precious first babbles to the explosion of vocabulary in the preschool years (including the endless "why" questions!), every interaction literally builds neural connections in your child's developing brain. This "serve and return" process—where children initiate and adults respond—creates the foundation for lifelong learning and connection.

For bilingual families, research confirms that maintaining your native tongue at home provides children with cognitive advantages and cultural connections. And for all parents, simple strategies like narrating daily activities, reading aloud slowly, following your child's interests, and creating quiet spaces for undistracted communication can significantly boost language development.

The most powerful language-building moments happen during ordinary times—washing apples, reading bedtime stories, or chatting in the car. These unhurried conversations weave the invisible threads that strengthen your child's communication network. Listen now to discover how you can support your child's language journey through the power of everyday interactions. Share your experiences or questions with us—we'd love to hear your child's language development story!

Welcome to the Kebudel Parent Podcast—your no-nonsense, fun-filled guide to parenting, straight from the experts who really get kids (and parents too!). 

Brought to you by experienced early childhood educators, we’re here to dish out practical advice, laugh at the messiness of parenting, and share our insider knowledge to help you thrive. From decoding tantrums to sparking your child’s love of learning, we cover it all with a healthy dose of humor and zero judgment.

Why listen? Because parenting doesn’t come with a manual, but it can come with expert-backed insights, a little sass, and a whole lot of support. Let’s navigate this wild ride together—one episode at a time. 

Transcript

Communication and language development

Speaker 1 0:00

Kia ora and welcome back to the Kaboodle podcast . I'm Alex from the First Five Years , and today I want to explore a topic that seems to be in the spotlight in the media quite a lot recently around school readiness and the fact that more children are beginning school with decreasing abilities when it comes to communication . And , of course , if you're like me , you read these articles and you think , well , what can I do as a parent to help my child have the best start at school ? So let's talk about communication and language development in the first five years . So one of my favorite things about being both a parent and working in early childhood education is watching how children use language , the funny little ways that they use words and the words that they come out with when they're just starting , and how quickly they put words into context , even those words we secretly wish that they wouldn't pick up , like those swear words . Somehow they're able to use them in context expertly . And I've got identical twin boys and honestly I think of them as my little science experiment at home , because , you know , they've had the same environment , the same opportunities , the same parents talking away at them , but they picked up language at very different rates and that's just how it goes sometimes . So , even though they picked up language at different rates , they did have one thing in common in regards to early language acquisition , and that was their first word . And no , it wasn't mum , it was dad . Both of them said dad , dad , dad and yep . I'm a bit salty about it , but that's okay . The truth is it's pretty typical . Most children tend to say dad first , simply because the D sound is easier to master than the M sound . So my boys were just following the crowd in that one .

Speaker 1 1:48

But language development is often never quite straight and a predictable path as we might think . Every child does find their own way with language . Some start talking early , some later . Some never seem to stop talking a little bit . Like me , I've always been a talker and I guess I always will be . But you know , there are other people , like my husband , who are quieter , more reflective , and that's just as as important , in my opinion . And when we're thinking about language and communication development , we often see patterns along the way . For example , many children will say dad first . That's very common . But also many children will go through what we call language bursts , where they might spend months saying very little and then all of a sudden , it's like a switch flips in their little brains and they start to use new words and have a whole vocabulary or what seemingly like it's just come on overnight and it can feel like magic , but really it's because they have been soaking in all this rich language and waiting for the right moment to let it all out . And so when

Early language experiences and development

Speaker 1 2:49

we think about the children who might not yet be saying many words , but we might expect them to hit that mark at a certain age , it's important to remember that they are soaking in all our body language , our gestures , our facial expressions , and so , while every child's timing looks different , what matters is that they're finding ways to connect , to be understood and to share meaning with the people around them . That's really the heart of language .

Speaker 1 3:15

One thing that comes up a lot in the media articles that I have read around language development is the impact of COVID . So for a lot of children , if they were born in the COVID years , their first years of life were shaped by lockdowns , reduced social contact , fewer opportunities to interact with a wide range of people and communication skills . Well , they develop in relationship , relationship with others , and it's built through chatting at the supermarket , talking to cousins being around , neighbours , singing at playgroups , etc . Or just sitting in your lap having a chat about the day . And so during COVID , many of those rich everyday experiences were stripped back for our kids and parents . You know , we did an incredible job holding it all together through those years and , let's be honest , most of us , if you , were parenting through the COVID years and for many of us we used screens to keep our children occupied and it was a really important survival tool at the time , but it did mean less face-to-face interactions and communication .

Speaker 1 4:14

So now we're seeing this ripple effect in schools , where children are arriving with fewer words , less confidence in expressing themselves or struggling to take turns in conversations . And that's why I think it is important to remember that communication isn't just about words . It's also about the unspoken stuff , the looks , the smiles , the gestures , the body language , the ways we share meaning without even realizing it . In my opinion , these are just as important as those vocabulary lists that we want our children to know and , at the end of the day , language is about connection . It's also about belonging , it's about being understood , and that's why , as parents , it is important that we

Typical development patterns and milestones

Speaker 1 4:55

nurture communication and language development at home . So research has shown time and time again say with the research of Dr Dana Suskind , who is involved in 30 million words and she talks about it beautifully that early language experiences are one of the strongest predictors of later outcomes . So we're talking about school success , emotional well-being and even the ability to problem solve .

Speaker 1 5:20

But the part that I think we often discount or forget is that you don't need to sit down with flashcards or apps to help our children's language develop . It's actually really about those everyday interactions that we have your voice , your presence . That is what really builds language and communication skills in the first five years . When we step back and look at language and language development , it really is quite a journey , and the wild part is is that language and communication development it starts before your child even says a word . From day one , babies are soaking in every single thing that we say and how we say it . The rhythm of your voice , the rise and fall of conversation , those silly songs that we sing to them , and all these interactions are teaching them something . And then , before you know it , those first words arrive like mom , dad . Well , dad , first , isn't it ? And sometimes for a while , every animal with four legs is a dog , and we just smile and we go with it , because we know that over time they will learn to understand the difference between cats and dogs and cows and horses , and by the preschool years vocabulary generally explodes and suddenly you've got full blown conversations and stories , some that make you laugh out loud and some that make you make absolutely no sense whatsoever . But that's all part of the process . And , of course , when would they get to that stage of why , why , why ? Oh , my goodness , you get pretty tired of answering all these questions , but that is an important stage . They're not , uh , you know , trying to drive us crazy , although it can feel like it , but really they're just piecing the world together , one question at a time , and the pace of this development is quite individual . So my twins are proof of that .

Speaker 1 7:05

Each of them hit their milestones in a quite different time pattern , but often we see language development fall in a similar way . So , for example , between ages two or three , we'll often notice that children are using little sentences . Like me . Do it ? Vocabulary shooting up all of a sudden that they can ask and answer questions . They'll start to follow simple directions and they begin to understand ideas of positional language like on in under next to , and you'll see them start to become more interested in communicating with other children . And then , between three and five years of age , we generally see that children are speaking in longer sentences . Words like because start creeping into their explanations , conversations about things that may have happened in the past , like going to grandma's house . We start to see grammar kind of showing up where it's meant to be intended . So things like using past tense and present tense , using the ings , ing , walking , talking , you might start to see children playing and rhyming words and playing around with sounds , and by five many children can recognize letters and maybe write in their name . So these are the common patterns that we see and some children hit these earlier , some are later , some take the scenic route , like one of my sons , and that's absolutely fine . What we want to see is an ongoing increase in their abilities to communicate . So when we see a plateau for a long period of time or , say , a decrease in words all of a sudden , that can be a concern . But what we do know that children take an individual pathway in language development . So we just want to see that they're increasing over time and in their skills .

Speaker 1 8:50

And so often parents will say well , what can I do to support my child's language development ? And sometimes we get sucked in by the marketing . I saw an app online recently that was like , oh so your child's not saying any words ? Well , in 30 days of this app they will be saying words . And I don't know how reliable that app would be . But I think something that we sometimes forget as parents is the power of conversations with our kids to build their skills . So every time you talk with your child , you're literally helping to build their brain . And I don't mean in a fluffy , feel good way , I mean like in a real biological sense , because every time we talk with our children , tiny connections in their brain , called synapses , are firing off . Every little interaction helps wire those connections together .

Speaker 1 9:36

Every time we talk and every time we allow our child to respond , this is called serve and return . So your child , for example , might serve something out , like maybe it's a babble , for example , if they're a baby , or maybe a word if they're a toddler , or maybe an endless why question if they're a preschooler ? And when you respond , you return their serve . So it kind of reminds me of a tennis match . But when this happens , when your child serves you something and then you return with

Building your child's brain through conversation

Speaker 1 10:06

a response that , back and forth , is actually gold for their brain development . I like to picture it like a weaving a net . Maybe you know , like every conversation , every smile , every shared look , that is another thread that embellishes your beautiful net . So the more threads , the stronger the net , and the stronger the net , the stronger the brain . Now the best part is it isn't about doing anything fancy . You don't need flashcards or special toys or apps . It's as simple as just chatting about what you're cooking for dinner or asking them about their day , just slowing down to describe the pictures in a book , or responding to your child when they hold up a toy , or ask the 10th why ? Question of the day . These are the everyday exchanges that are brain building moments .

Speaker 1 10:53

So I just want to touch on bilingualism here for a moment , because if you're able to share a second or third language with your child , please , please do so . One of my first teaching jobs was in an international center with many children . English was their second language and sometimes their third language , and sometimes parents would worry about that if they shared their native tongue at home , the child wouldn't learn English , or that maybe having more than two or three languages would confuse the child . So sometimes parents would tell us that they had stopped speaking their native tongue at home . So please know that children are so clever about understanding different languages and also detecting who can speak that language and who cannot speak that language . And research shows that bilingual children often have stronger problem-solving skills and have more flexible thinking . And , maybe most importantly , it connects your child to their culture and their family identity . So please do speak your native tongue at home .

Speaker 1 11:58

So let's get to the nitty-gritty . What can you do at home to support your child's communication and language development ? So here's some practical tips . Number one talk during those boring routine times . So narrate what you're doing , even if it's the most ordinary boring thing . Maybe you've just bought some apples from the supermarket and you are washing them , give them to your kids . So you might just say I am washing the apples and this one's red . Oh , the water feels cold on this apple . Or , oh , this apple is a bit dirty , I'm going to give this one a clean . You know , it might feel really silly at first when you start to narrate what you're doing , but please know that your child is soaking in all the words that you're using and these running commentaries give them the words and context for how to use these words in their world .

Speaker 1 12:55

Tip number two read aloud , but slow down . Now it's no secret , I'm a big fan of reading to your children every single day . A picture book is an incredible tool for communication

Practical tips for supporting language

Speaker 1 13:09

and language development . So when you read to your child , don't rush . Don't rush to get through the story . Linger on each page . Point out all the details of the pictures , like oh look , can you see that dog ? It's got a tail . The tail is wagging . What do you think he might be feeling ? Look , that square has four corners . So the pictures in a book are just as powerful as the words written in that book . And when we slow down and we describe the pictures , we are using really rich visual language and it allows our children to kind of slow down and take it all in .

Speaker 1 13:55

Tip number three follow their lead . If your child is into trucks , talk about trucks . If they're into bugs , well you know , talk about bugs . You might find yourself learning a lot about trucks and bugs . But when we connect with them on their interests , they're more likely to want to engage in conversations and chat and ask questions . So number three follow their lead . Number four pause and listen . Even with our young babies , say something , then wait , let them coo , let them babble or even just look at you , just pause . And when we pause we tell them your turn matters and before long they'll start filling in that space and this is part of that serve and return .

Speaker 1 14:38

Number five play , get silly . Honestly , the more we connect and we play with our kids , the more fun and engagement that they will have in their learning . So , songs , rhymes , silly voices , pretend play . You know , obviously for us as adults it might feel a bit silly , but play is just how children learn and play . They can use language and context and it's just an amazing tool . So play with your kids and use rich language when you do it now , while we're communicating with our children , when we are having those conversations with them .

Speaker 1 15:12

Tip number six is important and that is reduce the noise . Now , every now and then you might have the tv , on the radio , on music , in the background . I would encourage you to have times where there isn't background noise , where you can have undivided attention with your child . That's face to face , and so your child doesn't need to multitask while they're listening to you and trying to focus on what the conversation is about , but it's just you and your child connecting and engaging in that conversation , because this is where language really grows , in that face-to-face interaction with us .

Speaker 1 15:49

Now , wrapping up , it's important to just remind everyone that every child's path with language is different and there is a huge range of what normal looks like for children , but sometimes it's worth checking in with a professional . For example , if your baby isn't babbling or your toddler doesn't have that many words by 18 months , or if your preschooler struggles to follow instructions . It is sometimes a good idea to check in with a GP or plunket or your early childhood teacher to just check to see if everything's developing . Typically , because early support can make just a world of difference and I know this personally firsthand with my twins . Both of them had reoccurring air infections and glue ear that we weren't aware of but that was affecting their hearing .

Speaker 1 16:36

Once we discovered that they had glue ear and ear infections and that they weren't really hearing us clearly , I was worried about their language development and so I sought out support from a speech language therapist at that point and it was such valuable support and they were so reassuring and they gave us practical tips and they helped us understand how to best support our kids and , as a parent , it was a relief to know that we weren't alone and that there were strategies and supports that we could put in place straight away to support our children . So , as we wrap up today , I just want to say that communication

When to seek professional support

Speaker 1 17:09

and language development and how we support that at home it matters . Those moments where we prioritize one-on-one conversations with our children are gold . So , whether that's around the dinner table or in the car on the way to school , it is important that we spend time , little and often in an unhurried way , to just talk with our kids about their day . I hope you found this podcast helpful . I'm Alex and you're listening to the Caboodle Podcast .